and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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