It's Friday. Sex?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
