You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
