i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
