Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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