I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
That accounts for only three of the penises
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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