well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
