i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
