Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
