I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i think my mom watched the whole time
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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