She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
