ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
