I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dignity is for republicans.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
