If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
