Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
