i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
