come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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