I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
