She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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