you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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