Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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