we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
