He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dignity is for republicans.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
