I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't turn off my feet"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
