kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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