I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
