Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
bring money and cleavage
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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