Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
