Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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