i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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