goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
