Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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