that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
