btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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