if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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