just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
