The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
