Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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