TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
