you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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