He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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