Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
