school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
