if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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