I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
