Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
