Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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