Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i believe in u and ur pee
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
