the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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