I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
