I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We are all done wearing pants today
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
