my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
