Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
