i just had sex bonerless
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
