she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
